Why is it that most of my thinking goes on at night? Am I just more creative when I need sleep? Doubtful. Yeah, its a rhetorical question, but hey, I’ll try to answer it anyway. Sometimes I feel like I’ve done nothing memorable. If I die tomorrow, I want my friends and family to remember me for more than being that girl who died so young (such a shame). I want them to have something to remember, not just my birthday, or a Christmas card I bought them. I want to create words for memoirs, but how can that be possible if I don’t write them? I can’t make moments that survive by simply surviving. If I die tomorrow, I want my mind remembered for what it is, not for the few things I had the courage to say/draw/write/cook/create, etc. At the end of the day, I feel panicked. Have I done anything at all, much less a significant amount? My ideas clog my brain and I think, why didn’t I get all this out when I had the chance? Why didn’t I do this, or make this happen? I scold myself; Come on! You wasted a chance to make a difference! If I die tomorrow, my thoughts will be irrelevant. Worthless. Nonexistent, even. They would have been precious if I had let them come out into the world. But in the tomorrow where when I die, they’re dead with me.